


Snark

by afteriwake



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV), CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, CSI: NY, House M.D., Sherlock (TV), Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Amused Lindsay Monroe, Amused Nick Stokes, Annoyed Buffy Summers, Arguing, Awesome Molly Hooper, BAMF Buffy Summers, Dirty Thoughts, Drabble Collection, F/M, Gen, Greg House Being an Asshole, Hitting, Hurt Buffy Summers, Khan Is A Sore Loser, Medical Examination, New Jersey, POV Buffy Summers, POV Greg House, POV Khan Noonien Singh | John Harrison, POV Multiple, Poker, Strip Poker, Turf War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-22 06:21:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17054786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afteriwake/pseuds/afteriwake
Summary: Three crossover situations dealing with snarky people, showing snarkiness is universal.





	Snark

**Author's Note:**

  * For [melody1987](https://archiveofourown.org/users/melody1987/gifts).



> So these are a few crossover drabbles I've written that deal with snarky people. **sadlytrue** asked for the House/Buffy drabble (though this is platonic) with the prompts " _insensible, tightning and thoughtless_ ;" **dragonessasmith** asked for a CSI/CSI: NY crossover drabble with the prompt " _Warrick and Danny are arguing_ ;" and **melody1987** claimed a Khanolly fic with a prompt from **imagineyourotp** that went " _Imagine Person A of your OTP challenging Person B to poker (or some other card/Board game) with the intention of making Person B do something they'd never do on their own. They play a couple of times but Person B remains unbeatable thus far.( Bonus points if the game turns into strip poker because Person A is too stubborn to give up until winning at least once.)_ "

**Slayers Make The Worst Patients**  
Warrick Brown, Danny Messer, Lindsay Monroe & Nick Stokes  
_CSI/CSI: NY_

She groaned. She hadn't planned on being in New Jersey. Hadn't planned on getting hurt. And certainly hadn't planned on having to deal with a doctor who's snark level reminded her of Faith when she was PMSing.

"Well, then, what _did_ you do to yourself? If you want a competent diagnosis on what you're telling me I could always get another doctor for you." Dr. Gregory House looked at the small blonde woman who was glaring at him. "What?"

"You don't have a great bedside manner, you know that?"

"So I've been told."

"Have you also been told you're an ass?" Buffy said, her glare increasing in steeliness.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I have." He touched her leg at the bruised kneecap and she started cursing, though not in any language he was familiar with. He knew it was cursing by the tone of her voice and her attempt to do it quietly and through gritted teeth and tightened lips. It was highly annoying. "Will you stop that insensible chatter? I'm trying to work here."

That was the last straw. She swatted at him to get away from her and ended up hitting his side hard. He lost his balance and fell, managing to cushion the blow slightly by dropping his cane away from where he was going to fall.

"Oh, God, I'm sorry."

House looked at her quizzically. "You have an extraordinary strong backhand." He got up, taking no help from her, and looked at her. "You twisted your knee. Ice it, stay off of it...you'll be fine."

"Thank you," she said, gingerly getting off the exam table.

"And don't hit anyone. I don't need any more patients during clinic duty," he tossed off behind him as she watched him leave the examination room. She shook her head, wondering slightly at what the hell had just happened.

**Machismo**  
Warrick Brown, Danny Messer, Lindsay Monroe & Nick Stokes  
_CSI/CSI: NY_

Warrick and Danny glared at each other, much to the amusement of those gathered around watching the pissing contest unfold.

“You wouldn’t make it a week in New York.”

“Yeah? Maybe a day in Vegas for you.”

“Did I say a week? I meant an hour.”

“Five minutes, Messer.”

“Five _seconds_ , Brown.”

“What started all this?” Nick whispered to Lindsay.

“It’s a turf war to end all turf wars…they’re arguing over who’s tougher.”

“Who’s winning?”

“Not sure.” Lindsay grinned at the Vegas CSI. “But this is extremely fun to watch.”

”We should have sold tickets,” Nick said, making Lindsay giggle.

**Upping The Stakes**  
Khan Noonien Singh/Molly Hooper  
_Star Trek: AOS/Sherlock_

“Quit whining.”

He was only mildly irritated. Even being chided by the woman he loved, he was more irritated by his growing losing streak than anything else. The rules of poker were simple. There was a lot of mathematics that could be used to give him an edge. And yet here he was, losing every single game he played against her. It was frustrating. It was annoying.

It was embarrassing.

Finally, Molly laid her cards on the table. “I doubt you’ll beat this hand,” she said, smirking. If she wasn’t such a phenomenally good kisser he’d do something drastic to wipe that smirk off her lips. Perhaps sweep her off the chair, pin her against the bed and make her sing his name in that voice that was music to his ears as she orgasmed.

That was a delightful thought as he looked at his hand. He didn’t even bother to show his cards, tossing them down in disgust.

The smirk softened. “We could make this more interesting, you know. Strip poker is a thing.”

He raised an eyebrow. “So I’ll be stark naked and you fully clothed?”

“But imagine the things I could _do_ to a naked you,” she said, the smirk coming back with an additional naughty gaze. He cleared his throat as he felt his cock harden and then reached for his cards. At least if it was ready, she could have some fun...and he could, too.


End file.
